Intentional Love: The Secret to Meaningful Relationships After 50

Lee and Ron Rogers are the voices behind Love Lately, a relationship podcast focused on helping people find and nurture love, particularly after age 50. As a couple who connected later in life, they bring authentic perspectives based on their personal journey and experiences. Their approach combines practicality with wisdom gained through their own relationship development. The Rogers don't position themselves as relationship experts with all the answers, but rather as guides sharing what has worked in their own lives. Their commitment to healthy relationships has created a valuable resource for mature adults navigating the dating landscape in their later years.

In a recent episode, Lee and Ron explore the concept of intentionality in relationships—a principle they believe is fundamental to finding and maintaining meaningful connections, especially after 50. While many relationships drift along without clear direction or purpose, the Rogers make a case for deliberate, purposeful engagement in romantic partnerships. For those in their later years, when time becomes an increasingly precious resource, intentional dating and marriage take on even greater importance. This blog examines the wisdom shared by Lee and Ron about why intentionality matters, how to practice it in different relationship stages, and why it might be the key ingredient to finding lasting love in your golden years.

What Is Intentionality (And Why It's Essential in Relationships)  

Intentionality in relationships means having a deliberate plan with a desired outcome. As Ron Rogers explains, it's not about accidental connections or "going with the flow," but about making conscious decisions about where you're investing your time and energy. This deliberate approach becomes particularly important after 50, when life experience has taught us the value of our limited time. Intentionality means clearly communicating your interest and backing up those words with consistent actions that showcase your commitment.

The Rogers share a personal example that perfectly illustrates this concept. Early in their relationship, during their second meeting after a period of long-distance communication, Ron made his intentions explicitly clear to Lee, telling her, "I'm here. I ain't going nowhere. This is what I want." He didn't just state his intentions but followed through with actions that aligned with his words. This clarity set the tone for their entire relationship and created a foundation of trust and security. The directness of his approach eliminated guesswork and demonstrated his serious interest in building something meaningful.

This concept challenges the popular "go with the flow" mentality that often dominates modern dating culture. The Rogers suggest that floating through relationships without direction often leads to wasted time and emotional resources. Ron emphasizes that a person's effort is a real indication of their interest—when someone is truly intentional about pursuing a relationship with you, their actions will consistently exemplify this commitment. For those dating after 50, recognizing and requiring this kind of intentionality can prevent months or even years spent in relationships that aren't progressing toward mutual goals.

Intentionality for Singles  

For singles navigating the dating landscape after 50, intentionality serves as a valuable filter for potential partners. The Rogers address a common scenario where someone might feel a connection with a person who isn't displaying clear intentionality. When this happens, they suggest evaluating the person's effort as the true indicator of interest. If you're not seeing consistent effort and clear intentions from someone after a reasonable time, it may be a signal that they aren't seriously invested in developing the relationship.

Many of the Rogers' friends have found themselves stuck in extended relationships—not just for months but for years—without any progression or growth. These situations typically lack intentionality from at least one partner, resulting in stagnation rather than development. The Rogers challenge listeners to consider what they're doing if they've been in the same place relationally for two years without movement or growth. This pattern indicates a lack of intention and planning that ultimately wastes precious time that becomes increasingly valuable as we age.

The key question becomes: what is the plan? An intentional partner will have some vision for where the relationship is heading and will be willing to communicate about that direction. They'll make consistent efforts to see you and spend time together. They'll prioritize the relationship in their schedule and energy allocation. Most importantly, at the end of each meeting, an intentional partner will already be planning the next opportunity to connect, demonstrating their desire for continued growth in the relationship. These behaviors signal serious interest and investment rather than casual involvement.

Intentionality in Marriage  

For married couples, intentionality shifts from pursuit to purpose—focusing on having a clear vision for the marriage and working together to achieve it. The Rogers emphasize that marriage isn't just about taking trips and enjoying life together, though those things are important. Deeper intentionality involves understanding the purpose of your union and having a shared vision for what you want to build together. This becomes especially important in second marriages or relationships formed later in life, where both partners bring established identities and experiences.

Creating this shared vision requires open communication, as each partner may initially have different ideas about what they want their marriage to become. Ron notes that being open-minded and truly listening to your spouse's vision is crucial, even when it differs from your own. He shares how Lee's vision for their podcast wasn't initially in his "wheelhouse," but his willingness to understand her vision and see how it could positively impact their marriage led him to embrace the project. This adaptability allowed them to create something meaningful together that served their shared purpose.

The biblical concept that "the two shall become one" guides the Rogers' approach to marital intentionality. Ron emphasizes that the key word is "becoming"—an active, ongoing process that requires intentional thought, energy, and action. This process involves protecting what matters to the relationship, regularly communicating about goals and priorities, and making deliberate choices that serve the shared vision rather than individual preferences alone. When both partners are intentional about this becoming process, the marriage develops depth and purpose beyond surface-level enjoyment.

Practical Steps for Cultivating Intentionality  

Developing intentionality in relationships requires specific actions and mindsets. The Rogers outline several practical approaches that have worked in their own relationship. First among these is planning—not just big life plans, but consistent, regular planning that demonstrates commitment. During their long-distance dating phase, Lee and Ron never parted without knowing exactly when they would see each other next. This simple practice reinforced their mutual intention to continue building their relationship despite the physical distance between them.

Intentionality also requires clear communication of expectations and desires. The Rogers note that we often have intentions in our heads that we haven't explicitly shared with our partners. This lack of communication can lead to misaligned expectations and disappointment. Being direct about what you want and where you see the relationship heading creates clarity for both partners and eliminates the guesswork that can lead to misunderstandings. This straightforward communication style becomes increasingly valuable after 50, when most people have less tolerance for relationship games and ambiguity.

Perhaps most importantly, intentionality involves regular self-assessment or what Lee calls "heart checkups." These internal inventories help you evaluate whether your actions align with your stated intentions and whether you're moving toward your relationship goals. The Rogers suggest asking yourself questions like: Am I being intentional about protecting this relationship? Am I communicating my intentions clearly? Am I taking actions that align with my stated intentions? These regular checkups help maintain alignment between your words and actions, ensuring that you're not just talking about intentionality but actually practicing it consistently.

Three key steps for implementing intentionality in your relationships include:

1. Define your vision - Take time to clarify what you want in your relationship, both short-term and long-term, and be willing to discuss this openly with your partner.

2. Create regular planning rituals - Establish habits of planning your next meeting, discussing future goals, and making specific commitments to each other.

3. Perform regular self-assessments - Schedule time to reflect on whether your actions align with your intentions and make adjustments as needed.

4. Communicate expectations clearly - Don't assume your partner knows what you want or need; express your desires and intentions directly.

5. Establish protective boundaries - Set boundaries that protect what matters most to your relationship and be intentional about maintaining them.

Your Intention, Your Love Story  

Intentionality in relationships isn't about rigid planning that removes spontaneity and joy. Rather, it's about creating a framework where love can develop with purpose and direction. For those seeking or building relationships after 50, establishing clear intentions becomes an essential tool for creating connections that honor your life experience and remaining time. The process requires honesty, courage, and consistency, but the reward is relationships built on mutual understanding and shared purpose.

Your intentions reflect your values and communicate to others what you're seeking in connection. Rather than limiting possibilities, well-communicated intentions actually attract those who share similar relationship goals. As Lee discovered with Ron, someone's clear intentions can become an attractive quality that demonstrates character and emotional maturity.

The Rogers make a compelling case that our most precious resources—time and energy—are too valuable to invest without purpose, especially as we age. Intentional relationships, whether in the dating phase or in marriage, create momentum and growth rather than stagnation. By clearly defining what you want, communicating those desires directly, and consistently aligning your actions with your stated intentions, you create the conditions for meaningful connection that continues to deepen over time.

If you're ready to bring more intentionality to your relationships, start by taking a complete inventory of your current relationship patterns. Ask yourself: Where am I now? Where do I want to be? What intentions will help me move from here to there? Then share these reflections with your partner or, if you're single, use them to guide your dating choices going forward. Remember, as the Rogers suggest, it's never too late for love—and it's never too late to become more intentional about how you pursue and nurture that love.

For more wisdom on finding and maintaining love after 50, tune in to the "Love Lately" podcast with Lee and Ron Rogers, where they continue to share their journey and insights about intentional relationships with authenticity and wisdom.